Dear given name and family name (2025)

Hi,

Would you please help me clarify:

In a business letter, if I do not know the receiptant is a man or a woman, Could I write

"Dear given name and family name"?
e.g. David Backham

Could I start the letter with:

"Dear David Backham,"? Is it rude or inappropriate?

Or I have to say " Dear David,"?

Please let me know.

Thanks in advance!

WV

Hi, windyvalley. You can check this link for business writing
Business Writing: Salutations in Letters and Email

Cheers

Dear Peter,

Thanks! I read it and I know "Dear David Backham" is appropriate.

Have a good day.
Wv

windyvalley said:

,

Thanks! I read it and I know "Dear David Backham" is appropriate.

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Is it? I certainly wouldn't find it so. If anyone wrote me a business letter addressed to "Dear Firstname Lastname", I would consider it awkward and annoying at best. (And were you also planning on addressing the envelope without any honorific?) I also find it offensive to receive business letters from strangers that are addressed "Dear Firstname". If you do not know the sex of the person you are addressing (which is not the case with "David", whom you can safely assume is male), and you need to address the person by name, you should simply call the company and find out.

The linked-to website contains this advice:

Of course, we do know David Beckham's gender, which confuses the issue. However, if the name had been Taylor Beckham, we would understand the need for a solution like this.

I hadn't heard the rule before, and I haven't enough experience with business correspondence to say whether this is the generally accepted practice.

I think this is more an issue of etiquette than grammar, and that norms are (very) rapidly changing.

(I doubt many young people would find offense at being addressed by their full name (oh no!) in a letter sent in an envelope without an honorific (quelle horreur!) - they'd probably be too busy wondering why in 2016 somebody sent a paper letter at all...)

Cagey said:

The linked-to website contains this advice:

If you don't know a person's gender, use the full name rather than a title:

Dear Dana Simms: Dear T.K. Spinazola: ​

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I am aware of that -- and I am disagreeing with the advice.

Waltern said:

(I doubt many young people would find offense at being addressed by their full name (oh no!) in a letter sent in an envelope without an honorific (quelle horreur!) - they'd probably be too busy wondering why in 2016 somebody sent a paper letter at all...)

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I don't much care whether badly-educated young people would find offense at being addressed by their full name in a letter whose address lacked an honorific for the addressee. What they need to care about is that if they were writing such a letter, the potential recipient of the letter may be a cranky old fuddy-duddy like me, who WOULD take offense.

It is wretched advice to tell learners something like "don't worry about offending someone -- if you do offend them, they will just have to deal with it" -- because the way some people deal with being offended is to throw the offending letters in the trash, with no further notice given to them.

I'm probably on GWB's side here. 'Dear FN LN'* sounds like an computer generated letter to me and I heartily dislike it. Say 'Dear David' or 'Dear Mr Beckham' but not 'Dear David Beckham'. If you don't know the gender of the person, I think 'Dear Mr/Ms Beckham' is a better option.

*FN = first name, LN = last name

These days it probably needs to be Dear Mr/Mrs/Ms/Mx Beckham.
Far better to try to discover the person's gender and preference before writing.

Yes, "Mx" was a new one on me, too, until recently. It actually appears on Government websites in the UK.

GreenWhiteBlue said:

​

I am aware of that -- and I am disagreeing with the advice.

I don't much care whether badly-educated young people would find offense at being addressed by their full name in a letter whose address lacked an honorific for the addressee. What they need to care about is that if they were writing such a letter, the potential recipient of the letter may be a cranky old fuddy-duddy like me, who WOULD take offense.

It is wretched advice to tell learners something like "don't worry about offending someone -- if you do offend them, they will just have to deal with it" -- because the way some people deal with being offended is to throw the offending letters in the trash, with no further notice given to them.

Click to expand...

Wow, wow,

Thanks for letting me know!

I was happy to know that I could use Dear David Backham before reading your comments.

My question came from an email to whom I wrote the first time. I contacted his/her colleague before, but this time he/she answered my email.

I copied his/her signature in the email and added Dear xx, so that came out the argument that "Dear first name and Last name" could be rude.

I never know that even native speakers have different feeling about this.
How could the advice with the link misled me?!

However, to reply an email I need to make a call first sounds too much complicated, you know I need to write so many every day, and we do not in the same time zone for a call.

Thanks for all!

Wv

So you actually know this David Backham, Wv.

We all thought you meant David Beckham, a well-known footballer.

I agree with everybody that "Dear Mr. Beckham" is better. And yes, that if possible you should "call the company and find out." But sometimes "Dear Name Othername" is the best you can do. You can't always tell the sex of the person from the name. I use a shortened version of my given first name, and my preferred version is gender neutral. Can't tell you how many letters (or emails) I've gotten to "Mr. Malarky" or "Dr. Malarky." I find it amusing (because I am neither a Mr. nor a Dr.) but it's always a signal that says "disregard this letter - it comes from someone who doesn't know you."

Asian cultures put the family name first. Sometimes we get an inquiry from a person with a Chinese, Korean, Japanese or other Asian name, and we don't know if their name is given in their style (Family Firstname) or if they have reversed it to what is normal to us (Firstname Family). We don't want to insult anyone by guessing wrong.

"Dear Name Othername" should be a last resort, but it's better than a poor guess.

Sparky Malarky said:

I agree with everybody that "Dear Mr. Beckham" is better. And yes, that if possible you should "call the company and find out." But sometimes "Dear Name Othername" is the best you can do. You can't always tell the sex of the person from the name. I use a shortened version of my given first name, and my preferred version is gender neutral. Can't tell you how many letters (or emails) I've gotten to "Mr. Malarky" or "Dr. Malarky." I find it amusing (because I am neither a Mr. nor a Dr.) but it's always a signal that says "disregard this letter - it comes from someone who doesn't know you."

Asian cultures put the family name first. Sometimes we get an inquiry from a person with a Chinese, Korean, Japanese or other Asian name, and we don't know if their name is given in their style (Family Firstname) or if they have reversed it to what is normal to us (Firstname Family). We don't want to insult anyone by guessing wrong.

"Dear Name Othername" should be a last resort, but it's better than a poor guess.

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Hi Sparky,
Thanks for your comments.
It makes me easy. At least someone knows that "Dear first name and last name" is "the best" or no other better choice for the writer.
very appreicate your thoughts.

Thanks
WV

Rover_KE said:

So you actually know this David Backham, Wv.

We all thought you meant David Beckham, a well-known footballer.

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Sure, I know him. I just want his name for an example.