Since we’re coming up on our one year anniversary in December, I swear we’re getting to the end of the posts about our small winter wedding outside Charlottesville, Virginia last year. I have just a few more topics that I want to touch on (and since they’re some of the most searched posts on my blog, I hope y’all are finding them helpful!), and today I want to discuss one of the questions that comes up most often — what was it like to have a small wedding?
WHY WE DECIDED ON A SMALL WINTER WEDDING
I’ve touched on this a few times before in posts like the one about our dinner party wedding, but, for us, the decision to have a small winter wedding came down to these factors: budget, venue, vibe. We were paying for most of our wedding ourselves and I didn’t want to go the DIY route. I wanted to have a really nice wedding with great food, lots of drinks, and a gorgeous setting — I knew I wasn’t a budget bride. So, we had to make the decision that in order to have that wedding, it had to be small.
The venue that we fell in love with, The Farmhouse at Veritas, also cannot accommodate a huge group. When we were there finalizing details, they actually mentioned that they’d recently had a wedding move last minute to a different venue (the group still stayed there) because guests were added and, at 70 people, they outgrew the space. The Farmhouse was perfect for our group of 37, including ourselves.
Lastly, in wanting an intimate, wintery vibe, a small group just felt right.
WHAT’S IT LIKE TO HAVE A SMALL WEDDING?
I’m sure many people wonder if you can have as much fun with a small group as you can with a large group — or if it loses some of the celebratory feelings when you’re surrounded by fewer people. It’s definitely different than if you have a giant reception with 300 people, a band, and a dance floor, but, that doesn’t mean it has to be any less fun.
We invited only immediate family and a handful of close friends and we knew that those people would all be there for a good time. We kept the bar open for areally long time (as in 2:30 PM until 11:30 PM…), which always contributes to people having fun, right?! Also, since we didn’t have a dance floor, we used a few location changes to keep the party moving — we went from the front of the house for our ketubah ceremony, to the side of the house for our wedding ceremony, to the back of the house for cocktail hour, to the garden house for dinner, and back into the house for the “after-party.” I didn’t want it to ever feel stagnant or boring just because it was a long day with the same people, so we kept changing things up.
WILL PEOPLE BE UPSET THAT THEY AREN’T INVITED?
Well, to be honest, maybe? I can’t give you a 100% accurate answer, but I will say that no one outwardly expressed any feelings directly towards me. I’ve had friends that also had small weddings — small weddings that I wasn’t invited to — and I totally understood.
As I’ve told a few people, it might even be easier to goreally small like we did than to do a “small” wedding of 80 to 100 people. When you have a truly small wedding, which I would consider a wedding under 40 guests, most people will be sympathetic to the fact you had to make cuts — and that those cuts likely included people who are close to you.
DID WE HAVE ANY REGRETS OVER HAVING A SMALL WINTER WEDDING?
Yes and no. There were friends that I certainly wanted to invite, but with a limit of 5 plus their plus-ones, it wasn’t possible (there was also a lost RSVP — and our only no — that would have given us room to invite one more couple had we found out about it with a bit more lead time…that’s probably my biggest regret, that we had 2 spots that I would 100% have filled with a close friend. However, I didn’t want to invite someone three weeks before the wedding.).
Also, for us, a small wedding meant not inviting family beyond our parents, siblings, and their spouses. We both have big families and it’s one of those situations where if you invite one person, you’ve got literally 100 others who are now invited. And, since we were paying for our wedding ourselves, that wasn’t something we could do. Do we wish we could have invited them? Yes, but it wasn’t realistic.
But, all that being said, I would absolutely do it again. I’m not sure if having a small wedding iswhy our planning process was less stressful, but I know that I didn’t have the seating chart and invitation woes that many people do. We had a relatively easy time planning our wedding and, if that’s because it was small, then I would recommend cutting your guest list and not looking back.
Photos by Lauren Miller of Lauren Louise Collective.
Follow:
You may also enjoy:
Should You Go Engagement Ring Shopping?
Wedding 101: A Guide to Sending Wedding Invitations
Modern Map Art to Commemorate Life’s …
Honeymoon Registries: Should You Do One and, …
FAQs
There are also fewer weddings in December and winter in general, so your event is sure to stand out, and your guests won't have as much "wedding fatigue" as they do during the spring and summer wedding season. Plus, you'll have endless inspiration for photos, decorations, and signature cocktails!
What months are best for a winter wedding? ›
December, January, February
Gleaming fireplaces, evergreen trees, snowy winter landscapes, less wedding competition (and thus the ability to negotiate prices), and more vendor/venue availability make a winter wedding very appealing for couples.
What is the best date for a December wedding? ›
December 28th to 31st tend to be really popular dates, earlier in December can be busy so give your guests plenty of notice, and while into January, people tend to have more availability, you might not get the festive party atmosphere, if that's what you're after.
Why do people get married on December? ›
December is an inherently festive month. People are ready to over-indulge and have a good time. You can't beat the addition of holiday cheer to a wedding! Plus, we knew that whatever venue we chose would likely be decorated for the holidays, meaning we would spend less on decor.
What do you wear to a winter wedding in December? ›
The answer to that question is more simple than you might think. Winter weddings are likely to take place indoors, so you'll want to choose an outfit that's just warm enough once you take off your coat. A dress with sleeves, a maxi dress, or even a fancy jumpsuit are great ways to dress for the occasion.
What is the least popular month to have a wedding? ›
If you're looking to save money on your wedding date, consider getting married in January, February, or November. These are typically the least popular months for weddings, which means vendors and venues may offer discounts to attract business.
Are winter weddings less expensive? ›
You could get a deal on the catering
Catering and food usually make up a huge part of your wedding budget. But you might be able to negotiate for a better rate during the winter since caterers are usually not in high demand then, and might do your wedding for a fraction of the cost they would during the summer.
What color is best for winter weddings? ›
Rose gold, burgundy, and dark wine
Sticking with the dark wintery shades, a consistently popular colour for weddings during this period is red. Of course, bolder shades have the Christmas connotations but the darker wine tones like burgundy are ideal for capturing a warm and cosy winter feeling.
What is considered a winter wedding? ›
December 21- March 20
"Winter weddings are an excuse to cozy up with your loved one, enjoy a roaring fire, and go all out with rich jewel tones."
Do Catholics get married in December? ›
You may also want to avoid scheduling your wedding during Advent (the time from four Sundays before Christmas through Christmas Eve) or Lent (the penitential period of about forty days between Ash Wednesday and Easter); weddings held during these times should take into account the fact that the whole Church is ...
Best Wedding Dates Based on Numerology
"The best numbers to support a successful marriage are the numbers 4 and 6," McManamon said. "[The number] 4 represents foundation and if you're tying the knot with the influence of the 4 you can be confident in a solid foundation. The 6 represents home and family.
Is Christmas a good day to get married? ›
Even if you don't celebrate Christmas, December 24th and December 25th are tough wedding dates for many reasons. Some of your invitees may prefer spending these days with close family, even if you give them plenty of notice.
Are winter weddings common? ›
Have your heart set on a winter wedding for your big day? It's an unorthodox choice—nearly three-quarters of nuptials take place between May and October—yet if done correctly, a beautiful one.
What percentage of couples get engaged in December? ›
December being on this list three separate times isn't a coincidence. Out of the 38% of couples who get engaged during Engagement Season, 20% of them happen during this month.
Are Christmas weddings a thing? ›
Christmas weddings appear to have been even more common in inner-city areas, home to large industrial working-class communities. In a number of cities, particularly in London, it was a tradition that churches offered free marriages and baptisms on 25 December.
Are December weddings cheaper? ›
The cheaper months for weddings
February and December aren't value priced because of St. Valentine's Day and Christmas. In December (and on New Year's Eve), your competition may not be other marrying couples but holiday parties that use many of the same venues and vendors that weddings do.
What does a December bride mean? ›
December bride (plural December brides) (idiomatic) A woman who marries when she is significantly older than most brides.
What color do you wear to a December wedding? ›
Metallic tones such as gold, silver, and bronze, also work well for winter weddings. Pro tip from wedding planner, Karen Brown: "If you're attending a winter wedding, dress in warm colors like burgundy, brown, purple, gray, and green."
Is December a good month to propose? ›
In the U.S., 37 percent of engagements happen between the months of November to February, and the new Global Wedding Report data shows that even within that time frame, December is the most popular month to propose.
